It has been a year, hasnt it?
A little more than a year has past, many things have changed. From new experiences to people met and brefriended, many of which could not be fortold the year before. I've never thought I would 'grow' so much within a year, from leading a stagnent life to one now full of ups and downs.
Mistakes made, lessons learnt, are all these really neccessary?
The me from the past have been altered, weakened and sharpened like a well-used tool. I think I've grown to become more open and somewhat noisier, but many might want to differ.
More recently, I find myself in situations where my brain to mouth filter just shuts off. The words that come out are sometimes spiteful and unforgiving. Many of the times I regret what I say after the words leave my mouth. Why do I not think before I speak? What on earth am I saying? Who am I to say anything? With so many of such instances, I really want to revert back to my slightly quieter self from a year ago.
Deep down, I know I'm still just me.
The timid me who is still afraid of public speaking.
The fearful me who is afraid of hurting others.
The clueless me who still needs a guiding light out of the dark.
It has been awhile since I last posted. I've been breaking promises made to myself lately, and not making time for myself. Self-care is important, but I have not spend time on myself.
Life... has been tiring.
Sometimes I do miss the stagnancy from one year before.
