I'm awkwardly sitting there, not knowing what to say. There isn't much to say too. Give a slight smile and pretend to listen about the current topics at the table that I really do not have a clue about or any interest in. I try to put in a few words, but they don't hold any meaning. Sometimes they elicit a response. However, most of the time, it gains some awkward attention. Or at least it feels that way to me.
Words are said and opinions are exchanged, the conversations have moved on. My mind remains stagnant. I guess it is better to stay muted. The lesser is spoken, there would be little chance of awkward moments. Put a mask and a filter on, unless you are spoken to, try not to speak.
Have you been in such situations?
I do enjoy social gatherings, as much as I fear them.
I like the company of friends, going on food hunts and eating one too many desserts.
I want to go out more often, with people I have learn to trust and love.
But I don't speak much, or rather, I just do not know what to say. It is uncomfortable for a painfully introverted girl like me. It takes me ages to actually warm up to people, and even when I do, I tend to hide back in my shell. The quiet girl can get a little crazy too, they said. Being all friendly and smiling on the surface, but inwardly the heart beats speedily and the mind in a whirl. What should I say next? How do I reply? Just smile, awkwardly.
Don't say too much.
Don't over analyse things.
Don't make it awkward.
But the word 'awkward' looks awkward... ...
I am an awkward girl.
