Everyone are chained and bounded by diffrerent set of workload and beliefs, some holding the reins much tighter than others. Some even after the chains are broken, they still remain stagnent and unmoving.
Maybe they are right.
Maybe I am too strict with myself.
Maybe I should loosen the reins.
I wish I could let the crazy me come out as and when I want it to, without worrying about people judging and criticising me. Times that I step out of my comfortable but awkward silence are rare, but when I get playful and a little less shy, the audience are that of judging and 'this is so not you' look. There are times where I don't even know what is the real me, the crazy one or the quiet and thoughtful one.
I wish I was daring enough to speak my mind and get angry when I want to, and not be praised for a high tolerance level, when honestly I am one who gets irritated very easily. Even now in the duration of my part time job, there have been times when I feel like clawing people and scream at them, but I am in no position to. Just deal with it and shallow it down, there isn't muh that a part timer can do anyways.
I wish I wouldn't be so uptight and strict with myself, making people view me as one who does not know how to have fun. I should be rebellious for once, do the things that I always wanted to do, and do it without a care in the world.
