Dumb Dumb Dumb

♫ Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb ♫

Heard the song? Dumb Dumb by Red Velvet. Really a catchy tune.

Just a simple word, but it means a lot and absolutely nothing at all.

Just a simple word, but it explains a lot and it ends there.

Just a simple word, but it hurts, to the depths.

There comes a time when you realised that trying and working hard is not going to get you anywhere. Hard work doesn't necessary gives results. You can give it your all, and the results are still the same. Only if the results were average, or even a passing grade, I would be happy. I fervently hope so.  It doesn't help that I'm not smart or anything close to it. It does not help that I'm stuck in the position that no matter how hard I try, that I will remain in the same position as a always will be, at the tail end, not worthy of anything. 

It is not just for academics, even at things that I am supposed to be good at, I'm not good at it anymore. Maybe I am getting complacent. Did good once and hope that it will happen again without trying so hard. Could it be I'm not trying hard enough?

I can try again. But can I promise myself results?

Its pointless going through over and over again if it isn't going to work out.

Everyone has a limit and I feel that I am already reaching mine. My bar was set low to begin with, and it's demoralising that that low bar is no where near reaching. I'm on the verge of just letting go and giving up. It seems just so pointless that I don't know what to do anymore.

You can try try try, 

and you can cry cry cry.

That's what I am good at, nothing more.

I want to soar soar soar,

but life is such a bore bore bore

Maybe it's just me being me, nothing else.

I'm just that dumb and there's nothing I can do about it.

♫ Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb Dumb ♫