안녕하새요!
I have forsaken you again right? I'm really sorry. I've been tremendously busy with school and have little time to spare for myself, to pause and even think to myself. Many things have already happened, and I'm bursting with emotions that I want it to overflow right now.
You can always try and do your best, but there's no one to recognize you for it.
You can be as flawless as a circular piece, no corners, no errors, but you'll never fit into a jigsaw.
You may be wonderful at expressing yourself and feelings through dance, but the only people that saw you dance are the soft toys in your bedroom.
You may have a quality and top notch voice, but it is useless in a choir as there's little chance you can actually hear yourself.
Many of such times I ask myself, why work so hard when it does not make any better then the rest. It is wasted and of no help.
It's worse off when results do not show the amount of effort you have put in. I just feel like giving up. There's no point trying so hard when you don't get results and people blame you for not putting in sufficient effort. Even if you have clearly stated the enormous amount of effort you put in, they will retort you with "You have put in effort, but is it enough?" or something like "You are putting in the wrong kind of effort, go figure out what's wrong and change it." What can I do about it? Try again? But I'm tired of trying over and over again, so much so that I'm bored and exhausted of it.
There have been many instances I want to cry out and stop something from happening, but I fail to do so. All I can do is sit there and watch that happen. There's nothing that I can do to stop it. I want to but I don't dare to. I know it is wrong but what can I do without getting involved, seen as a busybody, or worse still, get scolded. This usually happens especially when it has to do with the way some people are communicating and interacting with people. Some are just plain rude to each other, even towards the elders. What's wrong with people nowadays? Where has the simple things such as respect and thinking before you speak gone to? Where has the simple thank yous, kisses and hugs that make you feel appreciated and love gone to?
With so many things happening, I just want to escape and runaway... ...but still, nothing can be done.
